Top 25 Bumper Stickers
25- Boldly going nowhere.
24- Heart Attacks... God'* revenge for eating his animal friends.
23- How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
22- CATS -- The other white meat.
21- Don't be sexist -- broads hate that.
20- I'm an imbecile and I vote.
19- Money Isn't Everything... But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
18- WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
17- You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me, not you!
16- Don't **** me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
15- Save Your Breath...you'll need it to blow up your date!
14- Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
13- Grow your own dope, plant a man.
12- All men are animals, some just make better pets.
11- WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
10- BEER: It'* not just for breakfast anymore.
9- I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
8- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
7- All men are idiots... I married their King.
6- The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
5- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
4- Out of my mind... back in five minutes.
3- Where there'* a will... I want to be in it.
2- It'* lonely at the top, but you eat better.
1- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
If Men Ruled The World: Part II
1- Two words... "Ally McNaked".
2- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop : "Nice one, That'* $10.00 off".
3- People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
4- Daisy Duke shorts would never go out of style again.
5- Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
6- Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
7- The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
8- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
9- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said "You're #1!".
10- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
11- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".
12- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
13- "Sorry I'm late, but I was wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
14- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.
15- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.