The Love Boat.....
A little guy, Stephen, without a great deal of sense was telling his friend that he couldn't get a girl.
His friend, Mike asked, "Man, aren't you rich? Don't you have all kinds of money?"
Stephen said, "Yeah, I got th' money. I just can't get none."
Mike said, "Well, all you need to do is buy a boat. Women LOVE boats! You buy a boat, ask a girl if she wants a boat ride, take her twenty miles out, cut off the engine, and tell her to put out or swim. Then you come back and tell me how it went."
Stephen said, "Well, that seems like a good idea t' me!"
He went out the next day and bought a big boat, put it in the harbor, and waited. Finally a girl came by and looked at his boat.
He said, "Y-y-you wanna go fer a boat wide wi' me?"
She thought he was kind of dumb, but she LOVED boats. She went.
He drove her twenty miles out, pulled out the key and said, "Y-y-you g-g-got to p-p-put out, or y-y-you g-g-ot to swim."
She figured, "What the hell?" She dropped her little swimsuit and let him have some.
He was so happy that he tried it again the next day. He sat by his boat; a girl walked by and looked at the boat.
He asked, "Y-you w-wanna go fer a boat wide wi' me?"
She LOVED boats, and she decided to go.
He took her twenty miles out, took out the key, and said, "Y-you gotta p-put out or swim!"
She didn't care. She took off her swimsuit and let him have some.
The next day he was cocky! A little gal came by in a swimsuit that was made of less cotton than there is in the top of an aspirin bottle.
He saw her look at the boat and said, "Hey, Bitch! Wanna go fer a boat wide w' me? Don't make no damn difference t' me!"
She jumped into the boat and he took her twenty miles out, jerked out the key, and said, "Put out or swim!"
She dropped her little swimsuit and damn the STINK! The smell was so bad he had to cover his head.
He said, "Whew! Never mind! Put that swimsuit back on and don't get none of that on me!"
She reached into her pocketbook and took out a pistol, aimed it at his head, and said, "Eat it or swim."
When Stephen was telling Mike about it, the goofy guy'* friend said, "Oh, my God! What did you do?"
Stephen answered, "You didn't hear about no guy drownin' out there, did you?
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