Sigh. Alot of things that are on my mind right now so I have to talk.
As some of u know my Grandma passed away from Lung cancer back on Friday. Very sad day for all family but we all know shes in a better place now. What angers me is what caused her cancer in the first place. Smoking. Smokinf f***ing kills millions of people every f***ing year and the companies get away with putting all this **** in them. But the FDA might be gaining control of tobacco soon so hopefully cigs are less harmful. But why don't we outlaw it in the first place is that makes me mad. Cigarettes killed my grandma no doubt. 2 pack a day'er for over 30 years but quit about 10 years ago.
Which brings me to my mother. She smokes 2 packs a day on average for as long as I can remember. Now I'm REALLY worried about her ending up like grandma in the future. I want her to stop but she just won't listen. I can understand she will get stressed ALOT and I do mean ALOT! But shes killing herself every puff she takes and I don't want her to go so soon because of it.
Which brings us to the house. Machesney park, Illinois was what grandma called home for over 50 years. But because of refinacing and other stuff we might have to sell it now and move up to the trailer house up here in South Beloit permanently. I mean would u be broke and have a house or have a smaller house and able to pay all the bills and save for your future and when sh*t happens? I really don't want the house sold, but it would be better financally for us. We can take the money from the sale and put it in stuff and grow the money and live comfortably for our lives and if the house if up for sale in the future we could buy it back, but thats just an idea.
Which brings me back to my mother. She needed some time away from everything so she loaded up my oldest sister, her boyfriend, and her kids into the POS lincoln and went to Florida on Tues. and will be back Sun./Mon. She has gone through alot with stress and grandmas passing so I hope she relaxes down in Pensacola Beach. She will take me and my younger sis in October.
Which takes me to... me now. Right now I have a steady McJob at 7.75 an hour and since school started plus the fact I'm schooled means I get alot of hours. I've even got in a couple hours of overtime. Which lets me get some long overdue needed stuff and pay the bills. But I turn 18 soon. I will be looking for GED courses soon and pray to the heavens above I'll get my GED around the time I turn 18. What worries me is. What now? I don't have a clue on what to do as a decent job after all that goes down. I mean I could stay at McD and be a swing but its TOO STRESSFUL for me and I'm not doing it. I have 2 co-workers that we're crew but are swings now and HATE it. Theres the Chrysler plant in Belvidere that is maybe an our away that makes the Dodge Caliber, Jeep Patriot, and the god awful Compass. That would seem to be alright... Just will it be there and hiring when that time comes?
Ok now where to... Oh yeah. Me and my mother took a ride up to middle WI to visit my grandfathers gravesite which I haven't been to now. Heres a pic..
Very emotional trip. Finally got to say goodbye cause I didn't when I had the chance back in 2000 :( As for the trip part the Bonne held up for the 320 mile 1 day'er very well.
Now for later on. Next weekend we will be burying our grandma where she grew up. In Arkansas. That will be a very emotional trip as well and we can say our final goodbyes to her. Add that I've never been down there before and I can see where she grew up.
As for my car. Shes still holding up very well with the abuse I'm giving her. Since for some godforsaken reason the hood won't open AT ALL and for all I know she might need some coolant (shes never used oil) It frustrates me. Hopefully I can get that all fixed at the Meet thanks to the helping hands of fellow bonne-lovers/know inside and outters
I can't let her let me down now. Least I need now is her breaking down.
My Job. Crew trainer at McD'*. I do like working there alot. Like 99% of my friends are co-workers are there. But its the Retarded and rude/asinine customers that give me a hard time when they don't get their iced coffee in 30 seconds during the lunch rush hour. Very freaking busy.
So its a bit of a rough patch now. All the stuff thats going on right now and all the stuff I'll be doing soon. Its an almost scary thing wondering how good I'll be doing 6-9 months from now.
O.K. Venting gone. Time to sleep