It was a week ago today that me an' dad went to Canada, an' I jest wanted to tell ya' about it!
We left from Cleveland in my dad'* little CRX. We woulda taken the big car, but mom got that one in the divorce. Dad says she deserved it cuz' she can fit her wide *** in it when she goes to the Mcdonald'* drive through!
I love Mickey Dees!
Anyhoo, when we crossed the border, the border guard looked dad up and down real close, and asked him to step outta the car. Dad'* belt wasn't buckled, so his pants fell down when he got outta the car! BOY dad was mad! He said the "*" word 18 times!
On the way into Canada, the bugs got thicker and thicker. The windshield wiper on dad'* side of the CRX doesn't work, so he kept having to stretch and look through on my side.
The bugs smooshed into a thick yellow paste onto the windshield! COOL! Dad stuck his head out his window to see better, and a big yellow bug smooshed him right on the head! BOY, was he screaming mad!
An' then, we went to see the grizzly bears at the park. One great big bear came up to the CRX, an' dad tossed him a piece of his quarter-pounder with cheese. Wheeee!! Mister bear ate that real quick, and he came back and put his paws on the CRX and started rocking it like a baby carriage! WHEEEE!!
Mister Bear wanted dad'* fries and he wanted them BAD!!
...We got outta there somehow, and high-tailed it back to Cleveland. On the way home, we hit a deer and it landed smack on the hood! A park ranger pulled us over an' gave dad a ticket for hunting without a license!
When we got back home in what was left of the poor little CRX, I hugged dad and thanked him so much! He muttered something about mom and 437 dollars a month child support and hugged me back!!
I LOVE MY DAD!!
IT WAS ALMOST THE BEST!!