Body Hair - A Time Lapse Diary
04-21-2006, 09:10 AM
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Body Hair - A Time Lapse Diary
13 years, 2 months - Sweet, a pube! I thought it was just a hair from my head that had fallen there, but that’* definitely rooted! The things you find when you’re watching Cinemax at 2 AM. I’m finally hitting puberty! Now I can get dressed for gym without being embarrassed. Maybe I’ll try and stretch it so it’* more visible. Damn! It broke!
15 years, 9 months - Dude, a chest hair! Awesome! God, I can probably buy beer now. I’ll just wear an open-collar shirt, walk into Sammy’*, plop a sixer on the counter, pay, and walk out like nothing happened. Nobody’* gonna card a dude with chest hair. I definitely have to start wearing polos to school, make sure Amanda sees this. Sure, Chris is a wide receiver, but I’ve got chest hair.
18 years, 10 months – What the hell is that? A nipple hair? What the hell? That thing’* ten feet long! I mean, I like having this chest hair and all, but who wants a nipple hair? It looks like some Rapunzel refugee. Maybe I’ll just pull it out. OH ****! Note to self: pulling out nipple hairs hurts like hell.
23 years, 1 month - Alright, that’* enough frontal hair. My chest and stomach are beginning to look like a Rorschach test. I see a tree: the root system leading up from my happy trail, spreading across my stomach, then a narrow trunk up to my far-too-fully sprouting chest hair. I mean, this stuff is beginning to stick out of the collar when I’m not wearing a V-neck!
25 years, 5 months - Holy crap. A shoulder hair. Breathe deep, maybe it’* just something that fell off your head. Nope, definitely growing out of my shoulder. And it looks just like the damn nipple hairs I got back when I was 18! Long, ugly, and annoying. But worse…it’* GROWING from my SHOULDER! Nothing should grow from my shoulders except my goddam neck! Okay, relax, it’* only one.
25 years, 9 months – OK, there are 13 of them now. My shoulders are like little classrooms.
27 years, 11 months - Man. . .that is a lot of nose hair. I mean, it shouldn’t be that long, should it? You shouldn’t be able to see it straight on. That’* it, I’m getting rid of those outliers. OW! Holy Christ, it hurts to pull that out. Regardless, I will NOT be buying one of those nose-hair trimmers.
28 years - Oh crap, my wife just bought me a nose-hair trimmer.
30 years, 2 months - Oh no. Nononononono and again no. I did NOT just see back hair. Oh God, I did. Okay…remain calm. Feels soft. Kind of downy. I guess that’* not so bad. I mean, it’* not like the werewolf hair my brother-in-law has, tufting up around his neck like some weird scarf. You can barely see it. I’m fine.
31 years, 6 months - That’* it. I am no longer human, I am a beast. My once soft, plush back coat is bushy and scary. I refuse to take my shirt off at the beach now, not because of my growing gut, but because of my pelt. I’m worried somebody will shoot me with a tranquilizer and I’ll wake up in the zoo, picking cantaloupe rinds out of the gutter.
42 years, 8 months - Kill me now. Get it over with. There is most definitely hair coming out of my ears. They aren’t that long yet, but they’ll get there. Why even bother fighting it? Why don’t I just dye them green so everyone can definitely see?
44 years, 1 month - Yup. Full-fledged bushes have grown in my ears. A sparrow just tried to build a nest. Maybe that’* where all that hair that’* rapidly departed my head over the past couple years has gone.
63 years, 7 months - I no longer care. Let all my glorious hair sprout forth from wherever it may be. Let it stick out of the back of my shirt and the side of my head. There’* a race on between my fingers and my toes to see who can have the hairier knuckles, and I don’t care. I’m going to wear shorts, sandals, and a ‘beater. Hide the women and children, the beast has been released.
15 years, 9 months - Dude, a chest hair! Awesome! God, I can probably buy beer now. I’ll just wear an open-collar shirt, walk into Sammy’*, plop a sixer on the counter, pay, and walk out like nothing happened. Nobody’* gonna card a dude with chest hair. I definitely have to start wearing polos to school, make sure Amanda sees this. Sure, Chris is a wide receiver, but I’ve got chest hair.
18 years, 10 months – What the hell is that? A nipple hair? What the hell? That thing’* ten feet long! I mean, I like having this chest hair and all, but who wants a nipple hair? It looks like some Rapunzel refugee. Maybe I’ll just pull it out. OH ****! Note to self: pulling out nipple hairs hurts like hell.
23 years, 1 month - Alright, that’* enough frontal hair. My chest and stomach are beginning to look like a Rorschach test. I see a tree: the root system leading up from my happy trail, spreading across my stomach, then a narrow trunk up to my far-too-fully sprouting chest hair. I mean, this stuff is beginning to stick out of the collar when I’m not wearing a V-neck!
25 years, 5 months - Holy crap. A shoulder hair. Breathe deep, maybe it’* just something that fell off your head. Nope, definitely growing out of my shoulder. And it looks just like the damn nipple hairs I got back when I was 18! Long, ugly, and annoying. But worse…it’* GROWING from my SHOULDER! Nothing should grow from my shoulders except my goddam neck! Okay, relax, it’* only one.
25 years, 9 months – OK, there are 13 of them now. My shoulders are like little classrooms.
27 years, 11 months - Man. . .that is a lot of nose hair. I mean, it shouldn’t be that long, should it? You shouldn’t be able to see it straight on. That’* it, I’m getting rid of those outliers. OW! Holy Christ, it hurts to pull that out. Regardless, I will NOT be buying one of those nose-hair trimmers.
28 years - Oh crap, my wife just bought me a nose-hair trimmer.
30 years, 2 months - Oh no. Nononononono and again no. I did NOT just see back hair. Oh God, I did. Okay…remain calm. Feels soft. Kind of downy. I guess that’* not so bad. I mean, it’* not like the werewolf hair my brother-in-law has, tufting up around his neck like some weird scarf. You can barely see it. I’m fine.
31 years, 6 months - That’* it. I am no longer human, I am a beast. My once soft, plush back coat is bushy and scary. I refuse to take my shirt off at the beach now, not because of my growing gut, but because of my pelt. I’m worried somebody will shoot me with a tranquilizer and I’ll wake up in the zoo, picking cantaloupe rinds out of the gutter.
42 years, 8 months - Kill me now. Get it over with. There is most definitely hair coming out of my ears. They aren’t that long yet, but they’ll get there. Why even bother fighting it? Why don’t I just dye them green so everyone can definitely see?
44 years, 1 month - Yup. Full-fledged bushes have grown in my ears. A sparrow just tried to build a nest. Maybe that’* where all that hair that’* rapidly departed my head over the past couple years has gone.
63 years, 7 months - I no longer care. Let all my glorious hair sprout forth from wherever it may be. Let it stick out of the back of my shirt and the side of my head. There’* a race on between my fingers and my toes to see who can have the hairier knuckles, and I don’t care. I’m going to wear shorts, sandals, and a ‘beater. Hide the women and children, the beast has been released.
04-21-2006, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by 2001NEVI
my hubby is very hairy...he had a full grown beard as a sophmore and was buying beer for all the kids without hair on their faces...LOL
Yours too, eh?
04-21-2006, 06:49 PM
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I can say that i dont have this problem and never will (runs in the family)i couldnt grow a full breard if my life depended on it. how ever that only applys above my belly botton, everything below is like sasquatch (which doesnt run in the family, no one at all has legs a hairy as mine in the family)
Oh well, probable more then you needed to know anyway
Oh well, probable more then you needed to know anyway
