It'* A Dog'* Life
A brief view into the life of a dog, written by one.
All of those people who say that are having a dog day really have no idea what they are talking about.
Personally, I think I've got it pretty good.
I wake up every morning, stretch, lick my butt, and then wait for one of the humans to get up and let me out. Usually, my idiot brother Murphy wakes up and pisses all over our bed and then starts crying like the little bitch he is, so we really don't have to wait too long.
The humans get up and yell at my brother...which I must admit, I really enjoy.
Then we go outside. The human is usually mumbling something about a "hangover" but I don't know what the hell they are talking about.
Seriously people. You expect too much. If it doesn't apply to food, pissing, pooping, walks, or a car ride...I really have no idea what you are babbling about.
Nor do I care.
Hey! Right now Murphy is licking his balls. Are they dirty? Nope. Why is he doing it? Because he can!
Take that, human males!
One small favor. You make me eat the same boring kibble every single day. Little pebbles of what may have been an animal at some point in time. But I eat it. It'* all I have.
Would it kill you to give me something tasty from time to time? I'm not talking chocolate cake...Lord knows, that would kill me. I'm just talking a little piece of chicken. Every now and again.
Or that one annoying neighbor kid. Let me take a nibble on his ***. What do you say?
You know. Food for thought. I just thought I would ask.
OK. I'm going back to sleep.
But first, I think I'll take a dump on the couch and make it look like Murphy did it.
1998 SE Midnight Blue Pearl
Gutted airbox, FRAM AirHog, removed MAF Screen, eBay clear corners, extended brake lights
I'm so much cooler online