GROANERS
02-26-2005, 10:43 AM
#1
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GROANERS
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"Sorry we don't serve food in here."
6. A dyslexic man walks into a rab.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says,
"It'* Not Unusual."
10. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says
to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It'* true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
12. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
13. I went to the butcher'* the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."
14. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
16. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
17. A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor
Vehicles to apply for a driver'* license. He has to take an Eye Test.
The optician shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O * T A C
Z'. "Can you read this?", the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy!"
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies,
"Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"Sorry we don't serve food in here."
6. A dyslexic man walks into a rab.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says,
"It'* Not Unusual."
10. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says
to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It'* true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
12. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
13. I went to the butcher'* the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
"No, the steaks are too high."
14. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
16. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
17. A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor
Vehicles to apply for a driver'* license. He has to take an Eye Test.
The optician shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O * T A C
Z'. "Can you read this?", the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy!"
02-26-2005, 03:06 PM
#4
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Troy, Michigan
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Re: GROANERS
Originally Posted by SSE14U24ME
17. A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor
Vehicles to apply for a driver'* license. He has to take an Eye Test.
The optician shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O * T A CZ'.
"Can you read this?", the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy!"
Vehicles to apply for a driver'* license. He has to take an Eye Test.
The optician shows him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O * T A CZ'.
"Can you read this?", the optician asks.
"Read it?" the Polish man replies, "I know the guy!"
