I just don't know what to do about my daughter Chynna !!

I'm hoping some of you younger guys can give an old guy some advice.

So last evening was our annual street party where they block off the main drag and it fills with vendors, food, entertainment...............and drunken teenagers
Everyone in town was there. Good and bad.



This is the last pic I took of her before losing her in the crowd when a few of her "friends" hustled her away.

It started at 6:pm and ended at 11:pm. We left without her...nowhere to be seen. :?

After midnight I'm awaken by a call.
"Hello this is Constable xxxxx. We have your daughter. She'* drunk. I'm driving her home."


Worse than that, when she arrives home it'* obvious she was in a cat fight. Torn clothes. Lump on forehead. Missing jewelry.
The cop said he pulled her off the other one and hauled her away.

When questioned this morning, she doesn't remember much after the whiskey....after the cider....after the beer


At 17 she is old enough to know better.....or is she....
I though bootcamp would teach her something about that but all it did was toughen her up even more.
She showed me pics of all the commanders drinking and getting drunk......what else can you do for entertainment in the army other than shooting at the enemy.

Her last year in high school starts in a week.

You, my friend have the curse. You hope you have a beautiful daughter and you get one. I have 2 of them. It'* hell going through HS. It does get better when they grow up, get married, etc. With girls, there is alot to deal with. Boys, alcohol, depression, suicide attempts, running away.

Just let them know you love them, be firm, set and keep rules. Young girls need boundries, especially boundries set by their dad. My oldest says now that during HS, she wanted limits, I thought she was mature enough to take care of herself. She turned out fine, but there were rocky times.

Hang in there, it does get better

Hammer down, united front from both parents. You and Laura have to pull ALL priveleges, including driving, and give them back slowly as she earns them.

i just hope she learns her lesson. i know if you are the type of fateher that in this situation opens and closed the door hard and talk loud as she has a hangover and try to wake her up, your doing a damn good job. she wont forget that and try to remember the next time she goes off drinking. tough love is a bi... but it helps. i am not a parent but i have seen others go through what she is going through.

You should have told Constable XXXXX to take her stew in jail. If she wants to screw around, she can handle the consequences. If thats not an option in your book, you'll need to figure out a suitable punishment. Your house, your rules.

I have to agree with Bill, unless you start taking everything away, she will never learn. You must get tough, if not she will continue to manipulate both of you. Yes she is beautiful and she knows how to use that against you, and yes you want your children to have everything, but there comes a time when you MUST crack down. I am sorry Paul, but you have saw this coming, the only thing I can suggest is to take everything away, she MUST be in the house at 7:00PM, take away her money, take away her computer (if she has one), no driving for at least 6 months. No phone, no nothing, and if she does not like these rules, well then she is free to leave your home. But you can not bail her out of any situation. She must learn that things are not handed to her on a silver platter. If any of my children did this, they would be begging me to forgive them. She has broken your trust and that is a very hard thing to get back. You know what you have to do, you and Laura are great parents....just stand united and don't back down.

I agree. Set the rules, but also let her know that if she needs it, you will be there. My parents discouraged drinking a lot, but also told me that if I ever drank too much just to call and let them know I was staying there or ask and they would get me. Yes, i would get in trouble still, but not as much as if I had either 1)didn't call 2) lied about it 3) try and drive.

I think if you sit down with her and talk things over. find out why she is doing it and all that. Doing it civilly without yelling is imparative cause you want to get information and don't want to push her away. Then discuss moderation with her. Cause at this point, she is drinking, and probably won't be able to stop it completely, but the least you can do is make her smart about it. Explain that drinking in excess is not good and she could hurt herself, citing the trouble she got into this time. You can also offer as my parents did. This might show understanding.

If nothing works, just have her spend a night in a cell by herself. That might straighten it out.

i might be able to offer more advice if desire. I know some parents allow their children to drink at home where they can monitor them, but there are other issues there.

and if she cant handle that and still go on trying to act groan and do what she want to do, you can tell her that its your house and she either abides by your rules or she gots to get a job and get her own place.

Paul, you are Laura are good people. I am sure the values and love that you two have instilled in your children will eventually prevail (even though at times, it may not seem so). It may not happen overnight, but have trust in yourselves. You and Laura know what is best. My thoughts are with you!

Thanks for your words of encouragement.
This is not the first time she has gotten into trouble.
We have tried just about everything you guys and gal have suggested over the last 2 years.
She even was kicked out of the house last year for 3 months. Things got better after that, now she slipped up again.
It is frusterating.
I won't give up........just like my perserverance with the lsd, I have even more with my children.
This is too small a town with too little to offer children. It'* hard to pull her away from bad influences.
True, she has to do that on her own.
One more year till she is old enough to be on her own.......