I don't think badly of you on either count. Nicotine is a powerful addiction. Tough one to kick but not impossible, at least from what I hear. Longest I was ever nicotine free was 3 months and smoke free for almost 2 years. I use smokeless now though and hate it. Still an addiction though.
Whats important about understanding **** is, that its living in fantasy. It doesnt mean you want to cheat on her, or that she'* inadequate. Most wives however are very hurt if they find husbands looking at **** and men usually feel guilty over it.
Are you wanting to share these secrets with her so that you can feel relief from the guilt? What is to be gained by sharing it with her? Accountibilty to her? So she will take you off the pedestal, so to speak?
My personal feelings are, that **** has no place in a healthy marriage. And tobacco will eventually kill you (and me if I can't/won't kick/deal with the addiction).