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#1
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jokes
1
Subject: The Wongs
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong'* have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely
Caucasian, white baby boy! "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new
parents. "Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong'*
don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong".
2
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son........................... "Go get your mother."
3
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word
"fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family
went to my granddad'* farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was
fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family
went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the
word "fascinate." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated
because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided
there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on
him. Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
***** are so big she can only fasten eight."
Subject: The Wongs
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong'* have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely
Caucasian, white baby boy! "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new
parents. "Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong'*
don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong".
2
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son........................... "Go get your mother."
3
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word
"fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family
went to my granddad'* farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was
fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word
"fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family
went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the
word "fascinate." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated
because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided
there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on
him. Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
***** are so big she can only fasten eight."
#5
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Re: jokes
Originally Posted by Gumball
Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
***** are so big she can only fasten eight."
***** are so big she can only fasten eight."
I wanna meet Aunt Gina!!!!!!!!
#6
So two morons went out hunting quail for the first time in a field.
They weren't having any luck that day, so they decided to try the field across from the one that they were in. To get over, though, they had to cross over a ravine. The first moron started to make his way down the ravine to cross over, but he tripped on a root and tumbled down the hill, cracking his head on a rock at the bottom. The second moron screamed for his buddy, but the first moron didn't answer him.
Panicked for his friend'* safety, the second moron reached for his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. When the operator picked up on the other end, he screamed into the phone, desperate:
"Please, you have to help me! My friend fell down a hill and he hit his head on a rock and I don't think he'* breathing! I think he might be dead! Help me!"
The operator on the other end tried to calm him down. "Sir, are you sure about that? You need to go make sure. He might not be dead, but unconscious. Go down and make sure!"
The moron says, "OK," and the operator hears dead silence for about five seconds, and then...
BANG
There'* another awful silence, and then the second moron gets back on the phone and says:
"OK, now what do I do?"
They weren't having any luck that day, so they decided to try the field across from the one that they were in. To get over, though, they had to cross over a ravine. The first moron started to make his way down the ravine to cross over, but he tripped on a root and tumbled down the hill, cracking his head on a rock at the bottom. The second moron screamed for his buddy, but the first moron didn't answer him.
Panicked for his friend'* safety, the second moron reached for his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. When the operator picked up on the other end, he screamed into the phone, desperate:
"Please, you have to help me! My friend fell down a hill and he hit his head on a rock and I don't think he'* breathing! I think he might be dead! Help me!"
The operator on the other end tried to calm him down. "Sir, are you sure about that? You need to go make sure. He might not be dead, but unconscious. Go down and make sure!"
The moron says, "OK," and the operator hears dead silence for about five seconds, and then...
BANG
There'* another awful silence, and then the second moron gets back on the phone and says:
"OK, now what do I do?"
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