Don't tell anyone you are leaving, take your vacation time, come back, do another couple of weeks, then give your notice that you are done. Offer the two weeks, but if they balk, just withdraw the offer and tell them your final day is "today" (whatever that day may be.)
Two week notice is a professional courtesy to employers. It'* not a requirement. Just like employers often welch on promises of severance pay.
The important thing is to not loose your temper. Just tell them it'* time for you to do something different (aka, no hard feelings...even if there are on your side) It'* just a little professional resume insurance in case your next employer really does check references.
Maybe I just look at things differently. I tend to yawn during the normal HR speal about bonus pay and benefits. I never count on a bonus till I have the check in the bank. I work for the normal compensation. If I get a bonus, then I'm greatfull, but otherwise it might as well not exist.