This sounds like more than a child needing more discipline. Have you tried to get her professional help? She may need to get on some meds.

I feel sorry for Chynna (sp?...sorry Paul if I got that wrong). This girl has been given every opportunity in her youth and has squandered it. Paul, it seems you and your wife have done everything in your parental power to steer her in the right direction however she does not have the ability to make the right decisions on her own and apparently thrives on negative attention. Despite the guidance and extreme leniency she contines to make the wrong decisions.

Life will catch up with her at some point, she'll quickly realize that life is not as forgiving as her parents. Life doesnt pay cell phone bills, cure spending addiction, lack of education, irresponsible relationships, lying and stealing.

Shes a beautiful girl that really doesnt realize how good she has it. And she knows her parents will always bail her out. That will have to change somehow.

Hopefully she learns her lesson sooner then later and gets her act together. She is only 17 goin on 18, there is still a chance.

I hope.

Just a simple question.... What the **** would she need a ****ing cell phone for working at dairy queen?

That was gonna be my question.

Paul, from what I can tell, without meeting you, you're an excellent person. In no way should you deserve treatment like that.

But, what I would do, is try to get a hold of all the ebay sellers that the items were purchased on your card through, and explain the situation of the stolen card, and hopefully they'll return the items and refund you.

Or you could have just called the company and told them the charges were unauthorized and you refuse to pay them, and would like to have the charges reversed.

I really have no advise on the behavioral problems though, my parents if I'd been that way, woulda knocked my *** into another dimension and back again. If were to threaten calling SS or the Police, they would have "disabled" me being able to use a phone. So I kept my **** straight in line.

What you could do I guess is just call the police and press every lil charge on her you can, and see how that works out. I'd charge her rent too.

Y'know, I have an idea for the cell phone I don't know who your carrier is, but Cingular has that go-phone plan that, for less than 80.00 a month, gives her free weekends and free mobile-to-mobile, and 500 anytime minutes. Best part is, there is no contract, and if you miss the monthly payment, the phone shuts off until its recharged. And if she uses up all the anytime minutes, she (or you) will have to reload the account. In other words, all costs are controlled, and no surprises. So long as the phone is Cingular and has a sim card, it will work.

Also, as a gift when she turns 18, I would get her a SECURED credit card, in her name. If she ends up charging it all up, she will have to pay on the balance before she can use it again, and if she defaults...she loses the deposit on the card. At the same time, this will help her establish credit AND teach her how to be responsible for it.

Now, BEFORE she turns 18 (i.e. while you still have legal control over her), I would make an appointment for her at her doctors office (which may be yours as well) and request an HIV test, since it is known that she has been, er, active. Will she like it? Nope. But it WILL start turning a few gears in her head that might get her to start thinking she needs to be more responsible now that she is becoming a legal adult and accountability is necessary when things go wrong.

During my high school years, I did fairly well I think. I made it into that "Who'* Who" book, I brought home the Regional Championship in VICA for drafting (both board and CAD), and to this day not once tried anything drug-related. But college was a different story as I was no longer under the roof and sort-of on my own. That was my rude awakening number 1. Number 2 happened after the military (divorce, no college degree meaning no real job), so it took some major life changes to get me to pull out from some nosedives. Moral of this ministory is that it can be done. And don't for one minute think that you are a bad parent or could have done a better job. Believe me, what you have done for your daughter will register in time.

Then sometimes you just got think to yourself...her child will put her through the grief that she'* putting you through now. Don't believe me? Just ask YOUR dad

EDIT: About that test thing, I'm not saying what that might sound like to some...it would be more like a scare tactic for her. Please don't take it any other way but. From what you said, she sounds like a great kid (esp. in the grades prior to this year), and there is only so much a parent can *legally* do these days....hang in there, it'll be over soon.

She is fearless and that would only make her think of the inheritance $$ she would get not to mention my 4 vehicles. :? .....but an amusing idea.

Boot Camp....already did that last summer. Didn't work.

We already sought medical attention and she had ADHD tests that turned out negative. I really thought that'* what she had.
Now I just think she has some other mental condition that causes lack of attentiveness.....teenagaholism

She did the HIV and other tests a couple of months ago...on her own...we saw the reports and they were negative for everything.


When we did throw her out over a year ago, we did remove all her belongings while she watched.....didn't phase her at all.

She needs the phone for Dairy Queen because they call her before she leave school to let her know if she is working or not. She is only part time filling in for others who are no shows or sick.
Missed calls, missed opportunities to pay me back.

When I spoke to PayPal, they said they could press charges against her but what good would that do? I would end up having to pay because she has no money and is a minor.....for another week.

Like I said, things will change after next week when she turns 18.

She likes make-up, hair, nails, beauty stuff so I think that may be her direction.

I want to keep her off the streets, so she doesn't take up that "other" profession.

I was a good boy growing up. A little bit introverted but an A student who went to Univerisity and got my Engineering degree.

She is an extrovert........who is not afraid to do the spread eagle in front of a camera.

you ever see that movie Scared Strait from the 80'*??? i'm sure if you called up your state prison that they would let her see and feels like to be locked up with other people that like to do the wrong thing... good luck tho! **you could get one of those cell phone that only allows her to make and receve certain phone calls... just a thought!

As weird as this may sound, take her to court for theft. She has stolen a good bit it seems like. She would get put into some type of correction program most likely, and then put on probabation. If she is on probabation, one legal slip up and she'* in big time trouble. Oh, and cut her off. Dont give her money. Not for anything. Dont pay for her cell phone or anything. You are being way to easy if you still pay for her cellphone after all she'* done.

I kinda have to agree with him. It may be horrible but I would rather do something horrible to help her from going to the streets and doing that "other" profession. She may lash out at you even more but it'* called tough love

SilverBullet:

How did the graduation go?