This is how my last one went:

Do It Yourself Oil Change.


1. Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and two scented trees.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly'* to recycle, dump it in the hole in the back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid'* pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 19mm box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil, getting hot oil all over yourself in the process.
12. Clean up mess.
13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Discover that the used oil is buried in the hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27. Drink beer.
28. Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
29. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
30. Drink beer.
31. Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32. Bang head on suspension cross-member in reaction to step 31.
33. Begin cussing fit.
34. Throw wrench.
35. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.
36. Beer.
37. Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38. Beer.
39. Beer.
40. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41. Beer.
42. Lower car from jack stands.
43. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
44. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
45. Beer.
46. Test drive car.
47. Get pulled over and arrested for Driving Under the Influence.
48. Vig gets impounded.
49. Make bail.
50. Get Vig from impound yard.

Money spent:
• $50.00 parts
• $25.00 beer
• $75.00 replacement set of jack stands. (Hey, the colors have to match!)
• $1,000.00 Bail
• $200.00 Impound and towing fee
TOTAL = $1,350.00

You make it sound so easy....

I read that a while back, but it had the female version, also.

1. Take car to Jiffy Lube

Total cost: $25.00

I love Jiffy Lube, my last change was my first with them and I was very impressed. They vacuum your car and everything.

Sometimes you have to double check them to make sure they did it right. I used to run cars thru quickee lube places occasionally instead of doing it myself. Most of the time it was OK. However, I had to give a leaky filter another spin to stop the bleeding. Another time I darn near broke my arm trying to break loose the plug, they musta used a 2 foot breakover to tighten it.

I also try to request bottled oil, since I have no idea whats coming outta that bulk hose into my engine.

I take my own oil and filter and oil to the one right around tthe corner from my house. I've been doing this for the last 2 1/2 years

Aren't all oil filters just like store brand sugar versus domino sugar, there the exact same regardless of brand?

I don't think so. Fram is a bad word where oil filters are concerned. WIX, Mobile, ACDelco are good. There is a website somewhere, something like Bob the Oil Guy or something similiar where filters have been cut open and compared.

certain brands are known to fail more cough fram cough

Wow, I thought Fram was the name brand version