Alcohol Warnings
05-03-2007, 10:11 AM
#1
Senior Member
True Car Nut
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 6,313
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Alcohol Warnings
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ashole.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. (now mandatory on all of Gumball'* bottles) :P
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuem, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear".
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ashole.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. (now mandatory on all of Gumball'* bottles) :P
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuem, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear".
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
05-03-2007, 10:54 AM
#3
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Robbinsdale, MN
Posts: 15,408
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
We need to combine our lists into one master list (from when I posted this) 
Stop stealing my material!!!
Originally Posted by MOS95B
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA'* suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the H*** happened to your bra.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your A$$ kicked.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the H*** happened to your bra.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your A$$ kicked.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
05-03-2007, 01:20 PM
#5
Senior Member
Certified Car Nut
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: My reclining computer chair
Posts: 11,269
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Here'* the NEBF alcohol warning.....
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable bruises and sore spots on the body from falling down stairs. (now mandatory on all of Gumball'* bottles)
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable bruises and sore spots on the body from falling down stairs. (now mandatory on all of Gumball'* bottles)
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Jim W
Your Other Rides: Pics & Videos
11
07-24-2004 11:51 AM
