If your driving lights are aimed right, it'* not a problem for oncoming cars. I RARELY get flashed with brights from oncoming cars, even with the 100W H3'*.
Rig them to come on with brights only? Sure. You need a relay. Cut the 12V feed to the lights, and run that through a relay. Put a seperate source of power through the normally open contacts of the relay when it'* energized. This keeps them off when the low beams are on. Now when you switch to high beams, and the ALM drops power to the fogs (like it does on every car except mine
), it'll energize the lights when the highs switch on.
Elementary, my Dear Watson. You just made a relay into an inverter.