I find the trick to doing a pan drop is to leave two loose bolts on one side as you remove the last bolt from the opposite side. That way you can control which way the pan will tip, and how fast you tip it.

Always a good idea.

I havent had a look at lines and i dont suspect anything is broken, all im sure I need to do is a new filter and new fluid considering it has been about 40,000+ since i do alot of driving. The shift isnt like a real hard jerk just when it jumps to i believe 2nd/3rd its a little rough nothing too major. My brother knows more than I do so he can give me some help too. From the sounds of it though all i have to do is loosen the bolts on the pan take a few out drain the majority into a catch, take the whole plate off pop out the filter replace it all and dump new fluid back in through the dip? I saw somewhere about the engine running is that necessary?

Don't start the engine until you have put the fluid back. Figure about 7 quarts with a pan drop and filter change. Then start the car, go threw the gears, and check level again. top off as needed.

If you can drop the pan you can install the shift kit, its that easy.
I wouldn't go thru the work and mess of doing a filter/ fluid/ gasket change on any higher mileage 4t65e trans without putting in the shift kit. Transgo makes one for about $50 (ebay).
It is not what you are likely thinking, not the shift kit you used to put in a hot rod that made it bang the gears hard. This trans sticks a little causing a delayed shift. When this happens it goes to max line pressure and shifts hard when it finally moves the piston. The kit is fine thru the bottom sand uses three and two springs rather that single ones. No more sticking, no delay, so no hard shifts.
You'll probably need it someday anyway if yours is acting up. Might as well only have trans fluid running down your arm and on garage floor one time.
Yep, add 7 quarts before starting the engine then run it thru the gears while waiting for temp to come all the way up to check level. Will need about one more half quart to be full.
Remember, this is only a partial change of trans fluid because the torque converter is still full of old fluid.

Does yours shift into OD easily? I do a lot of highway driving where I am, and for a while I had a lot of problems getting my car to stay in OD. Vacuum modulator was bad, replaced with the fram universal one because it was 16 bucks compared to well over 100. It is adjustable, and works fine now that I have the rest taken care of. Somehow my crappy harmonic balancer was affecting the shift issue as well. If the vacuum modulator leaks when held to the side it is bad correct? or rattles? I forget what I read. Easily to replace. Worth checking on. The set screw is adjustable as well for softer or harder shifting? So...If I were to go to the dealer, they would replace it with regular dex 3 then unless I ask? Its not bad to mix with the VI?

Forgive me for the lack of experience. can you elaborate on going through all the gears? I am sure it is completely explanatory, I am just a little slow at times....

Move the gear shift selector through all available gear settings, pausing in each one.

my car shifts into od fine its just while driving sometimes they are a little rough, i dont plan on having the car ALL of next year, I got hired and im only maintaining it at this point, im still on the edge yet of whether or not to replace my strut mounts.. im thinking i should

thank you everyone for the info ill try this HOPEFULLY soon

Not...keeping....lesabre....FOREVER? crimes. I will never stop loving driving my couch down the road.