one final update on this post.
The car is fixed.... I found two problems once I tore it down... 1-2 shift valve in VB
was worn causing it to stick... So it needed that fixed.
Tore it down a little (I didn't really want to go to far into it with the mileage that it has on it...afraid of what I may find.) so I did an air test. it failed pretty miserably so I decided to just throw a used tranny in it from a scrap yard.
I found one out of an 04 that had been "T-Boned" and rolled over... Odometer showed 76,300 miles on it so I snatched it up for $300. This one works good.
I figure the car isnt worth much with all the miles on it so this was the cheaper alternative. big job and I'm glad its over with....
Wife is happy so I am again happy. (A happy wife is a happy life)