I think they may have meant to post it here.
The way they got the connector off was pretty smart, they used a small pick, like you would do on a stuck on a water pump hose, via the big pick/hook tool.
The connectors are supposed to be solid, if they are rubbery as you say then that is most likely your issue.
You cannot really find that hose harness part with the male nipples anywhere that I know of, other than salvage yards.
That site said "You can use the connector from anything as old as 86 to replace it with."
You could try this link to see if you can find the part on a car in a yard near you.
Just search for something AC related, and if you find a car nearby go check it out and see if you can get that connector, not sure how likely you will find a good solid connector, but it is possible.
Car-Part.com--Used Auto Parts Market
Another thing you could do, if you can find something like a connector to connect a cut hose together, then you could just bypass the black make nipple harness altogether, just cut the hoses keeping them as long as possible, and connect them together directly.
Right off I am not sure what would work, but given the size of the little hoses maybe try a small piece of aquarium pump tubing.
If I have any other ideas I'll let you know.
Oh yeah, one other thing, you did notice the warning on that site about buying a new programmer right?
""*****CRITICAL NOTE******* Found this out by experience.
If your car has the digital cluster and displays for auto air, you must find a programmer that is from the same production year. For some idiotic reason those cluster get all confused and won't let the AC work if its not from the same year.
They posted a pic of the type they were talking about.