Just wanted to resolve this.
Everything kept going out one by one. It eventually got to the point no turn signals, no hazard lights, no windshield wipers, no ABS, no cruise, nothing. I had to keep my foot shoved up into the dash in order to keep the car running. One day, that no longer worked (as I knew would soon happen). I decided to get down and dirty and rewire beneath the dash of the driver'* side.
Turns out a majority or wires in the fuse relay right next to the driver'* kick panel were loose or disconnected. Rewired all of that and everything worked perfect. Stuttering and slow acceleration went away and all accessories and safety features are back.