Went over to O'Reilly and purchased a whole starter for $85. Took the old one out and hooked it up to a battery, and the starter didn't do anything. I'm guessing it was the solenoid that went bad, and making it so the gear on the starter wouldn't engage the flywheel. We stuck the new starter in and the car started right up, flawless.
I've been driving my car for some time without the engine splash guard on, and I'm wondering if that has something to do with the tensioner assembly and starter that have recently gone bad...